Friday, April 17, 2009 he alive?

easter was last saturday,

rachel invited me to a musical at bukit jalil by calvary.

she said if i didnt go she would ignore me...

so oh well,i did up with choon tik and

took the off at bukit jalil station and waited for

other people,hmm....jason and kah yan sister and others.

around 7.30,we were still waiting when choon tik saw rachel at the bottom of the station.

she called us to come down so we did.

she was looking fine that day,white dress,short skirt,cute shoes

and pretty.She called choon tok Zai(son),i was curious why she called him that

oh well...rachel ws taking step sons(sort of).

then she suddenly called me Zai as well, and thank me for coming.

so she was my ama all happened quite fast.

then rachel friend came and we went to the stadium.

it was quite packed but rachel still manage to find good seats for us.(thz a lot)

the musical started and it was abt the day when jesus christ was born,

i've seen many times of easter musical,but this time it was different.

my life that time and now wasnt reli well,family all broken up

and my mother suddenly moved back and stay with me,

messing my life up,she hates me going to chruch,

cause my mother broke up with my dad because he went to church.

and my mothers thinks my dad is having an affair when he goes to church.

so he hates christianity and christ,anything thats has to do with jesus christ.

i donoe why,i've been a christian for 2 years,i went to camps,

i always prayed for a better life,a family,but nth happens

everything becomes worse.its like god forsaken me.

during the musical,jason was sitting beside but he had a small accident

so he went of for awhile to check something up.

then rachel came and sit beside,smiling and asking me am i allright?

are you ok zai?why arent you watching the musical?why the long face?

then i told her everything, when i told her i came from a broken family,

she said :give me 5!

i was likewith a reli shocked face,wat the?

then she rachel said that she too came from a broken family.

i was shocked,not many people have broken family like me,but she does,

i told her abt my painful life,my sad experiences,

she understand my feelings,she know how to comfort me,

then i told her:i lost faith rachel,god seemed to have forsaken me,god gave up on me.

then she put her hands 0n my lap and said:don say that zai,god loves you,god is testing you.

look at your ama,i turned out ok right?

my heart was in pain,tears was flowing a little at my eyes,

then i told her:why does god test humans when he knoe we're weak,i've been waiting for 2 years

for a change but god isnt helping me,it all gets worse.

rachel spoke in a low voice:it'll be ok,juz dont lose faith,K?you have to be strong.

then jason came back and his leg was ok,juz bruised a bit.

when the musical was finished,so we went out of the stadium.

rachel was going back with her church friends and when she left

she said:love you tze ing and don lose faith,bye...

and thats was it,took the lrt home and choon tik's mom gave me a lift back home.

that easter was the most memoriable,i've gained so much.

a amah who understnads me,loves me.

but god,hasnt change my life for the good.

and thz rachel for everything,i felt better when i went out with you.

ur the greatest amah i could you rachel....

thz for making me ur zai.....